Socialising with other people is important to our mental and physical health as human beings because we are social beings, which is why it’s important to have social surroundings to survive. Loneliness can have a detrimental effect on our mental health in so many ways, causing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, etc. Loneliness is a very natural phenomenon and it’s a feeling that arises regardless of gender, age, or other socio-demographic characteristics.
Loneliness is not a physical ailment and there is social and emotional loneliness. Social and emotional loneliness are associated with a lack of meaningful social relationships and a lack of social companionship. Social loneliness is when a person has no one around whom they can physically interact with. Loneliness can be social, where we feel like we lack social connections, emotional where people may feel like they lack meaningful relationships to the extent that we do not belong and feel separate from others.
Loneliness is the social equivalent of physical pain, hunger, and thirst; the pain of social disconnection and the hunger and thirst for social connection motivate the maintenance and formation of social connections necessary for the survival of our genes. Feelings of loneliness succeed in motivating connection or reconnection with others following geographic relocation or bereavement, for instance, thereby diminishing or abolishing feelings of social isolation. However, loneliness and social isolation are not in the same category, and it is easy to get them confused. Purposely isolating oneself is different from being lonely, isolation is more of a choice most times people do that to avoid certain situations or due to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
However, loneliness was a common result of the COVID-19 pandemic as people had to stay secluded to prevent the transmission of the deadly virus. According to the office for National Statistics gov.uk October 2020 – February 2021 about 38.6% (10.5 million people) said their well-being was affected at the beginning of the pandemic. Although, before COVID-19 reached the UK it was already recognised as a prominent issue faced by many, and it mostly nudged many people into isolation once the virus began to threaten our well-being.
The measures of loneliness?
How often do you that you lack companionship?
Do you often feel left out? If so, how often?
How often do you feel isolated from others?
The paradox of loneliness is that while people are now more connected than ever through social media platforms, media phones, virtual reality, etc. The loneliness epidemic continues to rise as most people have struggled to make real-life connections.
There has been a massive popularity of social media platforms and it’s been inserted into almost all aspects of our lives, there’s a lack of clear data about how it affects people personally: the behaviours, the social relationship, and the state of our mental health
Loneliness has a reciprocal relationship with social anxiety. Social anxiety is an anxiety problem where a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Social anxiety is known to facilitate loneliness, but loneliness also increases social anxiety and feelings of paranoia, and this may represent a cyclical process that is especially active in the young and in our modern times may be mediated using social media. So how might social media be involved? Loneliness in the younger generation is mostly disguised as a function of perceived friendship networks, people connote having social media friends to having real friends.
Effectively, feelings of loneliness increase the fewer friends that an individual has. In the modern-day, social media such as Instagram and Twitter are a significant contributor to the friendship networks of young people, so whether you perceive yourself to be a successful user of social media is likely to have an impact on feelings of loneliness, anxiety, paranoia, and mental health. In many cases, the information that is available isn’t pretty. Studies have linked the use of social media to depression, anxiety, poorer sleep quality, lower self-esteem, inattention, and hyperactivity — often in teens and adolescents. (Healthline 2018)
What are the ways to help someone that feels lonely? One way is to make them feel needed, as most people that feel lonely do not think anyone wants their company. This will motivate them to either seek help or slowly open to people and welcome social interactions.
Adam Kitten, a 42-year-old council worker says his experience with loneliness was difficult for him, because he felt like he was alone, and he felt like nobody wanted to speak to him after he moved from Cambridge to Nottingham to live with his partner after getting a new job in the city. According to him, he had no friends plus his partner was always working so when he finished work, he stated, “I’d always be home by myself and I’ve always been social back in Cambridge, so it was a difficult and harsh switch” It started to take a toll on Adam’s mental health because this went on for months.
Adam’s solution was first to talk to his partner, about the emotional problems he was dealing with. Adam’s issue is a candid example of social isolation which means not having enough people to interact with regularly. In cases like this, it does not matter the amount of social contact one may have in life; they can still experience loneliness just like in Adam’s case. Adam’s advice is that talking to someone about it helps because after he spoke to Alan who understood him, they started going out together more to connect and meet other people to make new friends. Adam believes that loneliness can make you feel like nobody wants to be your friends but when you go out there you realise you are lovable, and you deserve to have friends.
Things to do when you feel lonely
Finding a community of people based on your interest, religion could help you find people who are like you and may be scared to make the first move just like you, sometimes that first step is what you need to meet like-minded people.
Be kind to yourself: show yourself the kindness you are willing to show to others. Whether it is buying yourself something you have always wanted, it could even be a bar of chocolate. Putting time aside to dance to your favourite song and play games, the point is to just treat yourself and remind yourself constantly that you are worthy of love, so start with being your own friend first.
Practice gratitude: take a moment to be grateful for yourself and the small wins in your life, it could be something like getting out of bed, try having the glass half full instead of half empty.
Visit a medical practitioner: if you feel like you need medical help it’s best to speak to someone who would give you a professional advice, it could be counselling and having someone to speak to. Being honest and vulnerable might be the first step you need.
Sources
Social Media Increases Depression and Loneliness (healthline.com)
